Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Rejection

Yup...it pretty much sucks.  Doesn't really matter who it comes from family, friends or even just someone on facebook it hurts.  I've dealt with rejection my whole life, even unintentional rejection, which interestingly enough still affects a person!  Not only have I dealt with it my whole life, it's also been passed down generationally!  Oh yes how fun is that! lol  I simply say this as fact.  Not to invoke a pity party or manipulate anyone's emotions, this is just simply stated as a fact.

So when someone has been rejected continually they begin to wonder what is wrong with themselves that others can not be kind to them or be their friend or just like them for who they are without trying to make them into something else.  And if you are dealing with these feelings your whole life without being validated, encouraged, told that you are indeed loveable, then this is what you believe about yourself. It's really not rocket science.  As children we believe what we hear, do we not?  And if we don't have anyone telling us what are lies and what are truths, then we get confused easily and just believe what is spoken to us the most.  And even if someone DOES try to tell us what the truth is and what have been lies, it's after the fact and as a kid you don't know who to believe because adults just say things to try to make us feel good, right?  Again, these are just facts about life, nothing more.

So now you have a screwed up human being, who has believed lies about herself for so long, she doesn't even know if she knows what love even is.  (I DO by the way...my husband showed me yesterday during a huge long conversation that I DO in fact know what love is and how to show it and receive it, but I often get unloving feelings confused with rejection) She starts opening up as an adult in search of friends, but only faces rejection either right away or a year later...it doesn't really matter when the rejection takes place in a friendship, but it's definitely easier in the beginning because you just realize that you didn't mesh well, for whatever reasons...and I guess this wouldn't even be classified as rejection because in the beginning stages of friendship, you're just finding out whether there's a deep connect there or not.  At any rate...rejection still sucks.  And it changes who you are.  You see yourself as crap, you let others walk all over you, you overextend yourself when you see a need because you just want acceptance.  It isn't a healthy place to be, because when you don't see yourself the way Yahweh your Creator does, and you don't respect His creation, this is sin.  It's perhaps hidden, and has somehow become acceptable, even in the Christian circles. "oh they just have low self esteem"...no, it's not as simple as low self-esteem!  They are sinning against Yahweh when they scoff at His creation and see themselves as less than others!  I believe this is called self-rejection and can turn into self-hatred.  Having said all that I just want to mention a very good book by Patricia King called "Decree", it is FULL of Scriptures stating truths about who you are in Christ!  Something everyone struggling in the area of rejection should look into...she also has it on cd. Takes about an hour to read through or listen to.  I don't necessarily agree with everything she says or writes but this one book I completely agree with!

Did you know that in Psalm 103 it says that He forgives all thine iniquities: He heals all thy disease!  It is interesting to me that David links sin with disease....so does Moses in Deuteronomy!  Deuteronomy is filled with the Blessings and Curses!  We will be able to reap the Blessings but it IS conditional!  We must keep His Commands (and we can't pick and choose either, we are either for Yahweh or against Yahweh) in order to enjoy His blessings.  If we choose NOT to keep His commands then we can look forward to the curses which include all manner of disease.  So what am I getting at?  Here I was talking about rejection and now I'm talking about the relationship between sin and disease! lol

I'm a diabetic...have been since I was 12, and likely even before that...I was just diagnosed at 12yrs old.  Even in this disease the enemy has spoken continuous lies to me, Yahweh has rejected me and allowed me to have this disease, I must be good for nothing if He won't set me free from this. etc. etc.  I know these are lies simply because they are contrary to Scripture!  Remember Ps 103?!  He heals ALL thy disease!!!  But because of sin, personal and/or generational, I won't get healing until it's been dealt with.  I need to get myself right with my Creator if I want to be whole.  Quite frankly, I'd be quite happy to be whole mentally, emotionally and spiritually!  I want that freedom! And if I am healed physically in the process, what an awesome benefit to obeying Yahweh!  Perhaps this is why it's so important to be Doers of His Word and not Hearers only....
One thing I'm learning as I am undergoing a deep cleansing period in my life, is that I need to weigh what EVERYONE tells me against Scripture.  I need to put my trust in my Creator alone and NOT in human words, because they are after all human and prone to sin.  If I can just remember to put peoples words about me on the shelf until I can test them against Scripture, then I can save myself a whole lot of pain and agony.  It is time to "take captive every thought" on a VERY regular basis because I want only Holy Spirit speaking to me...not the enemy.  I WILL  have my healing.  Because it says so in the Bible.  I'm not a prosperity gospel or a name it and claim it kind of girl AT ALL...but I do know that when we obey Him, He will do what He said He will do and forgive our iniquities and heal our diseases!

4 comments:

paige said...

oh, girlie - i hear the 'ouchie' in this post. i love your vulnerability... & i see your heart that longs to please Him. Keep digging, LD. He loves you so.

Susan A said...

hi, I happened to come across your blog from Gail's at "Standing at the Crossroads" ... through a comment she left at Linny's at "A Place Called Simplicity"...

I am trying to figure out how to walk after the Spirit too... it seems like I've been stuck around Romans 7 and not yet realised the way out that is in Yahushua in Romans 8. I'm still trying to work it out, I think the secret is listening to the Spirit and being aware of when He is prompting you, and to chose to follow His direction, for that will bring liberty... for where the Spirit is, there is liberty (2 Cor 3:17).

If you have time, could you read Linny's Wild Adventures Parts (the links are on the right hand side of her blog at www.aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com )... she has been sharing how wonderfully He has led her, her closeness to our Saviour is something that all of us can have. Also, she has started sharing how we can practice listening to Him, in

http://aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com/search/label/How%20To%20Hear%20God%20Speak

The first part is on the bottom, with the current part 4 on the top. I thought I'd share this with you in case you haven't seen it yet. :) Hope it helps in some way, as I can understand the struggles.

Shabbat shalom from Australia :)

Sombra said...

what's it say? Count it pure joy when you are persecuted because of me? yep, it's a hard walk this Am Segula... but it's not supposed to be easy, it's supposed to be hard so we learn to lean on HIM, cry out to Him, pant for HIM, reach out to HIM.. so, count it joy this rejection of yours, for it is evidence that you are loved by Adonai, and have set yourself unto Him, his Peculiar Bride

Prvbs31Mama said...

thanks peoples...lol
I needed the encouragement! Bless you all!