Sunday, April 17, 2011

AHEA...some notes taken from Disciplinology

I enjoyed the main session speakers at AHEA this year, I usually do though!
I'll share my notes and thoughts from Clay Clarkson's talk on Discipline.

Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

It seems to be clear in the verse above that you can't separate discipline from instruction, they go hand in hand. Maybe what is missing is the Biblical concept of discipline.

  • relationship vs. methodology 
         this one seems to be rather self's all about building relationships with our children instead of being strict disciplinarians, distancing ourselves from them.  (this is one area I totally need to work on)
  • process vs. act
          discipline is a process it should not be a one time act.  We are humans, we are going to fail as will our children!  So we need to look at this with the big picture in mind and administer discipline as a way of instructing them in life, not as a punishment every time something wrong is done.
  • advocate vs. adversary
          are we cheering our kids on? or are we just waiting for them to screw up so we can "git them"??  It sounds lame when you put it that way, eh?  But how often do we get busy with our own issues that we sometimes overlook thing that go on in our children's lives and how they are coping?  We need to be intimately aware and help them learn how to respond to life's blows and triumphs in a Godly way, instead of only having deep talks with them when there is a problem with their character/attitude. (yeah, gotta work on this one too! I marvel at mom's of many who accomplish this one! Seriously ladies, GOOD WORK!!)
  • grace & truth vs. law
          now I thoroughly don't agree with this one at all, as I find this to be an absolute "anti-Torah" take on things.   Mr. Clarkson talked about how Christians live with grace and truth instead of the law of moses....well, that's clearly speaking against the God of the Bible even though that is what many believe (He is a God who doesn't change, so the things in Torah that have "forever" attached to it, still apply!) here are my thoughts on it.

Instead of it being grace and truth vs. law, I believe it should be grace and truth leading us to the law.
What people seem to forget, is that grace and mercy didn't materialize when Yahshua (Jesus) died on the execution stake...all throughout the history of the Tanakh (Old Testament) we see YHVH's mercy and grace extended over and over until He finally had enough and then He disciplined His people.  He was incredibly patient, as the Israelites grumbled just a few days after being delivered in a miraculous way from the Egyptians! Yet instead of crying out to YHVH for water and food, they complained and whined amongst one another and to Moshe (Moses)!!  And even then He STILL provided for them! WOW!  
Then we have the law of Moshe as given by YHVH Himself, simple guidelines in how to live our lives if we want to please Him and receive His blessings.  As we come to know and love YHVH, the God of the Bible, our Creator, as our relationship with Him deepens we will want to please Him and not ourselves, we will want to do what He asks, even commands, with a smile on our faces. (no I don't always get this right either...) 
So as we grow in relationship with our children and extend grace and mercy, they will in turn desire to please us and obey our simple rules of the house.   At least that is how I see it in Scripture, and would like to see it in our house!

Recovering the Way of Life

We are living in a society that does not put any importance in faith. This includes the homeschooling groups! He shared a few frightening polls that were eye-opening! But I don't remember the stats...sorry. We will move on

3 Priorities of Life on the Path

DIRECTION-moving along the Path
  • leading with sympathy vs. strictness
  • leading with encouragement vs. guilt
  • leading with love vs. neglect
  • leading with instruction vs. information
this group spoke volumes to how I was raised and how I'm unintentionally making the same mistakes with my children.  Oh Father, soften my heart to be sympathetic, encouraging, loving and enable me to instruct instead of just inform! Giving the tools of life and showing them how to use them correctly!

CORRECTION-getting back to the Path
It's not just about bad behavior!!
  • training with Spiritual discipline-teach them to respond to God
  • training with verbal discipline-being careful HOW I say things
Gal6:1Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.
Matt 11:29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
 2 Tim 2:24 And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, 25 in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth,
  •  training with behavioral discipline  ie. if you do a job sloppily then it's obvious you need more practice, so you will get to do more of that particular job for extra practice!
  • training with physical discipline
Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Mr. Clarkson shared some insight into this verse, saying that it the word "child" in this sense could easily mean a "teen" and not a young child...and the term "old" simply means an adult.  So in the case of physical discipline it may not actually be talking about young children but young adults.  It was unclear to me this particular point...except that it seems to be a last resort measure.

PROTECTION-staying safe on the Path

  • guarding against unhealthy appetites
  • guarding against against unwise relationships
  • guarding against ungodly media
To me this needs no explanation at all...but if you need a guideline you can do what I do and refer to:
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
 If you have a TV this would be a good verse to print out and tape above the tv...seriously....

Hope you enjoyed the note....if I'm unclear on anything feel free to strike up a conversation in the comments!!

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